It was on that night, the night when it felt particularly painful to be having you stuck in my mind. The night when I could not even bring myself to think of anything else in this world but you you you and why why why. The night when I grasped my chest hard as I faced my long-time fear of letting you go..
As I sat down on my couch, pathetically wrapped in my blanket while resting my heavy head on the sofa head, that I asked myself a question:
“Now that I have decided to move on from the idea of him in my life, to whom should I dance for from now on ?”
And the answer to that question is, my old self, to dance for no one else other than yourself.
Feelings amplify your dance movements. The thoughts of someone whom you perceive as dear to you could bring out wonderful arrays of emotions into your dance. It is through these thoughts that you often decide to let your body go and take control in the first place.
It is true that you may have lost a reason to dance for him. And it hurts because dancing for him was your most favourite thing to do, as you thought about him and how dearly you held him close to your heart.
But now that he had drifted further and further away from your life, are you just going to stop dancing altogether?
That thought really crossed my mind on that night, you know, the thought of quitting dancing altogether. And I was confounded by it. I had somewhat surprised myself by having thought that I had run out of reasons to dance, that there is no more good enough reasons to continue dancing, even though dancing is the only thing that makes me feel liberated. Dancing brings me to a different world of my own, the only place where I can truly shine.
But now that he’s gone, to whom should I ever dance for again?
It was not until I heard my own voice whispering the word “Yourself..” in my head that I snapped back to reality.
“Yourself” was indeed the answer that I was looking for. You may have lost the reason to dance for him, but you have certainly NOT lost the reason to dance for yourself. And isn’t that the most important of all?
Dance for yourself, and not for anyone else.
Make your own feelings the focus of the dance.
Dance radiantly because you are happy. Dance in melancholy because you are sad.
Dance cheekily when you feel playful. Dance powerfully when you feel confident. Dance delicately when you feel vulnerable.
Let your own emotions be the colours that amplify your dance until you find a good enough reason to be dancing for someone else again.
But at the mean time, and I suggest even after finding that other reason to dance for someone else, do continue to have YOU as the heart of your dance.
Make YOURSELF the reason for YOU to start dancing and continue moving.
Dance for yourself, and no one else.
That way, you will never run out of reasons to dance.