If anyone ever asked whom best portray the type of guy I, this poor soul, could not resist, the answer would be this guy. Jim Sturgess. Or at least the character that he played in One Day – Dexter.
I remember watching One Day for the first time a few years ago with a friend of mine in a rather vintage theatre.
To be frank, I was not really into the movie at that time. There was too much drama and too little comedy for my taste (not to mention the sad ending). But boy, do I remember being completely smitten over Jim Sturgess in that movie.
I did not know why I was drawn to his character but I just liked his portrayal of Dexter in the movie. Not until my sister asked how the movie was and I showed her the trailer as I pointed out the character of Dexter and commented on how I somehow could not describe his charm. To which my sister said, “Yeah, I think I get what you mean. He’s very… sleazy.”
“YES!” I couldn’t help but completely and absolutely agreed with that word. Sleazy.
It might not be a very good word to describe anything or even anyone. But heck, was he sleazy!
In this case, sleazy’s good. Sleazy’s charming. It was the sleaziness that captured my attention or I might just have poor taste in men.
He was confident, playfully charming, and the smirk.. oh that smirk..
Sorry, just ignore everything I’ve said above. It’s the smirk that I fell for. That playful smirk..
Anyways, jokes aside.
One Day is a movie based on a best selling novel of the same title. It revolves around the friendship of two people, Dexter and Emma. Two people who are the complete opposites of each other, in every aspect possible. Two people who are perfect for each other, but are not meant to be together.
Oh, how this movie frustrates me to my very core. As I watched the movie again last night, it’s just really frustrating to watch how two people who made each other so happy and full, just could not find a good enough reason to be together. One Day is the type of movie that is a tad bit too real for you to enjoy watching. It is a bit too relatable to your daily life that it frustrates you on how and why these two people could not end up together. Some would relate the storyline of One Day with personal experiences while others might see Emma and Dexter as a portrayal of their friends whom they are dying to see ending up together through their pits and falls.
You see, Emma has always loved Dexter, even before they officially met and spoke to one another. So when Dexter showed interest in her during the graduation night when they first met and wanted to take her to bed, Emma was ecstatic beyond words. Only to have her fantasy crushed instantly as Dexter abruptly called the whole thing off. You see, even the start of their relationship was not smooth sailing. Dexter had never been sure about Emma but there was just something in her that drew his attention. And so they agreed to being ‘just friends’.
But you see, feelings just don’t go away like that. Even after that night, Emma continued to love Dexter. Be it as a friend or as a potential lover. But because she never saw any sign of interest from his side, she never acted on it. She would, though, whenever he was ready, but sadly he never was.
Dexter, on the other hand, is an entirely different life. Throughout the movie, we can sort of see the way he looked at Emma and how he should be able to know that she ought to mean much more to him than just a ‘friend’. But instead of admitting to those feelings, Dexter chose to be a jerk about the whole situation. He knew perfectly how Emma felt about him as he kept her at arm’s length. I remember there was a scene in the movie when Dexter finally shed some light on the relationship between him and Emma and how he thought that it would actually be a good idea for them to be together. To which Emma lightened up as she saw a ray of hope. However, much to her fury, Dexter continued the sentence with:
“The problem is I fancy pretty much everyone. But me and you, it would be different. I think we’d want different things and I don’t think I’m ready. If you wanted to, you know, have a bit of fun. Holiday fling, no obligations.”
Yes, he’s a jerk.
The thing with Dexter is, he had always known how great of a person Emma was but there were a few reasons why he never chose to reciprocate Emma’s feelings. First of all, he was not ready to settle down (like most guys in their 20s), he thought he’s got his whole life in front of him. A carefree life where he’d chase fame and fun. Settling down was the least priority that he had in his mind, and to him, Emma was the kind of girl that he thought he would not have fun with. But to settle down with. She was different. So he let time took over his life and put Emma at the very last of his priority list together with the idea of settling down.
Second of all, Dexter knew Emma’s feelings for him and he CHOSE not to reciprocate it. Be it supported by his idea that the timing was just not quite right or he was simply not ready to give her what she wanted. But one thing for sure, subconsciously, Dexter knew that Emma would always be in his life. Especially at times when he needed her the most. He knew what kind of a girl Emma was. He knew Emma lacked confidence and sort of latched onto him as a source of fun in her life and based on those alone, he knew that he would always have Emma in his life, that he would never lose her because this girl had no idea that she had potential way more than that. True, as a friend he always made her sure that she was funny and charming in her own way. But he sort of continued to feast on Emma’s lack of self confidence.
I spent my whole night last night thinking about the reasons why they could never end up together. They were obviously perfect for each other. But why the obstacles?
Was it really the bad timing? That they never actually fell for each other right at the same point in time? When Emma had feelings for Dexter, he obviously did not. Only until the end when Dexter’s life was in ruins that he came back running to Emma for comfort.
To Dexter, Emma was his comfort food. His go-to place when the world was against him. But to Emma, Dexter was way much more. He had always been. Dexter knew but he never reciprocated Emma’s feelings. Perhaps it was because as much as he loved Emma as a friend, he knew that Emma was not fun. She’s not exciting. Perhaps regardless of the blatant connections that they had, Dexter never saw Emma as her type. He knew that he could do way better (which he did as he married a beautiful woman to whom he found a lack of connection with). However, much to the irony, he could never find someone with whom he could share a connection as much as he did with Emma. And when he finally realized that Emma might be the one for him, it was a tad bit too late.
Towards the end of the movie, Dexter asked Emma, “Don’t you think it’d be a good idea? You and me together?” To which Emma coldly replied, “Yes. I do. I did. In the late 80s.” Which was 10 years ago. At this point, Emma had moved on. She had worked on her self confidence and found herself a decent guy.
Emma was never his first choice. Not even his second or third choice. As heartbreaking as it sounds, Emma was always his back up plan. And no one wants to be a back up plan.. Sure, he loved Emma. But only as a friend and nothing more. EVEN IF he did love her more than that, he never wanted to admit his feelings for Emma. He chose to oversee the amazing connections that they had and continued to pursue other women. Other women who were more beautiful and fun than Emma. He was being selfish and yeah, a jerk. To which Emma never once voiced out her disapproval of. Even with Dexter playing her under his thumb, Emma continued to latch on to him, which might also be the reason why Dexter always kept her at the back of his pocket. You see the paradox?
It’s pretty sad to see how two people who are perfect for each other, had worked their way up to becoming very good friends, but had never actually made it to becoming more. They had taken each other for granted over the span of 20 years. Like any of us, they spent their lives looking for their better halves, only to find themselves crawling back to each other for comfort and security.
If only they had acted on it earlier, how things would have been so different..
But I guess that’s how life works, hey. You never know what you have until it was gone.
Do you have a Dexter in your life?
Or an Emma perhaps?
The Mind Wanderer 